Celestial One, I am grief stricken.
My body has become so stricken with grief that it has reacted with fevers, chills, infections and fatigue.
My father passed away on Wednesday, May 11 at 7:05pm.
When I returned home later that evening, I couldn’t stop shivering. I’ve not grieved the loss of someone so close to me before, so I just assumed it was a temporary reaction, and went to bed. I woke up at 1:30am, shivering even more, and took my temperature. I had a fever.
Since that moment, my health took a nosedive. I shivered, I sweated, I coughed, I slept. By Saturday, I couldn’t stand it anymore and went to the urgent care clinic. I had an ear infection and upper respiratory infection. I got my prescriptions and felt optimistic that I would be nearing the end of my illness.
But it lingers on. The fever is much lower now, and I can do things in shorts bursts. But I am still bone tired, and my voice is shot.
Here’s what I believe to be true:
1) I – no doubt – got sick from nasty germs, probably from my dad’s nursing home.
2) The timing of my illness and Dad’s death, though, is not coincidental. In fact, getting ill only a few hours after Dad’s passing was Divine Timing.
I have been running myself ragged – Dad’s vigil, taking care of Mom, trying to find a new house, Emma’s cancer diagnosis (Emma is my basset hound and soul dog), taking care of my family….(the list goes on and on).
And when Dad passed, my body had enough. It shut down, forcing me to STOP moving and just be in the present.
So, please forgive me for not having a marketing strategy for this week. I haven’t had the energy to write one.
My intention is to be back at it next week. For now, I am listening to my body. Self care. Self love. Good grief.
I do want to end this post on a positive note:
1) We found a house and are moving this weekend. Our house has a fireplace, pool, plenty of bedrooms, and a creek in the backyard. I can’t wait to show you pictures! (Make sure to like my Facebook page so you can see).
2) Emma is 100 percent cancer free! YES!
Breakdowns before the breakthroughs. I am still learning to embrace the breakdown part. How about you?
I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you. Thank you for being part of my tribe.